It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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