You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
