is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's blow job season.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
