fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
