No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
