Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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