I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
