that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
