yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
