good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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