hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
