She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
