Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
