Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
