Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
