Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
