I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
