I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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