Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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