i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
