Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
