You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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