Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
