This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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