dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
