So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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