Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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