Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
