I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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