so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
