the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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