I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
