UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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