Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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