You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
