Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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