i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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