mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
