I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
