a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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