You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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