no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
