dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
