Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
