There is no way he is gay with that hair.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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