he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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