No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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