So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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