ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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