You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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