know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
