I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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