if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
