Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
