We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
