im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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