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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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